Oh. Man.
So, it’s been established that I like sitting in parking lots at night, smoking/drinking coffee/reading/dicking around on my phone. This should not be new to anyone reading.
It’s also established that I am functionally retarded when it comes to social situations, particularly those involving the opposite sex. I can never see anything coming.
So. I’m sitting in the parking lot of Shopper’s Drugmart while smoking and drinking coffee. I should mention it’s approximately 4:30 in the morning. Y’all better know I work nights. I’m sitting there, enjoying my coffee for about an hour or so when a bobcat pulls up next to me. I knew they were in the parking lot clearing it, so I don’t think too much of it.
The guy in it asks me if I’m okay. I think, all right, this is a reasonable question. It probably looks like I’m sitting here waiting to sober up. Not the case, so I explain to him that I’m just there to smoke and enjoy my coffee. He asks if he can join me for a cigarette, so I say sure. I love smoking and shooting the shit. We exchange small talk, which I find boring but understand is necessary.
Then he asks me if I want to go for a drink later today.
Like. Seriously, buddy? You’re trying to pick up a girl who routinely sits in parking lots smoking and drinking coffee? Did you think this through before you asked me that?
Fortunately, I turned him off with talk of Batman and how I have to prepare for a podcast today.
This is what I get for going to a well-lit parking lot that has people in it. Next time I’ll just go to a Walmart and be done with it.
